My regrets...

It seems I haven't been very inspired by or interested in the vagaries of growing older since my gentleman friend rather unceremoniously announced he'd cheated on me and I told him to take a hike. I think I've been feeling old, and it isn't funny.

But I do have one Big Query: when did all the women in the country start waxing or shaving their Hoo-Ha's, and is it now considered de rigeur? I mean, I knew about bikini waxes, and heard vaguely about Brazilian waxes, but it never occured to me that the latter was anything more than an extreme bikini wax, and didn't know (I still don't, obviously) that it seems to be something that's now expected.

Could that be the reason my gentleman friend cheated on me with his ex-lady friend? He did mention once that she did that, and maybe I didn't get the hint.

On the other hand, would I have done this even for HIM????? Honestly, I don't think so. Not at my age. (With some perspective I can now state that he wasn't actually all that good/worth it anyway.) For one thing, I can't even prop my leg up on the shower wall to shave it anymore. I have to sit down...and how would that work when I'm trying to shave my Hoo-Ha? Which I'm sitting on!

I can't imagine a more difficult daily personal task . Sure, add THAT to all the other things I do in the morning not to look like an old lady... And once you did it, you'd have to continue, or there'd be an itch for weeks!!

Besides which, isn't that hair there for a reason?

I remember when it was pointed out to me at school in the 7th grade that I was the only one of the girls not yet shaving my legs, and I went home and told my Mom that I wanted to shave my legs. She said, "Oh honey, once you start doing that you have to do it all the time....and the hair grows back in thicker and coarser!" (The latter I later found out is not true...it just seems that way because the hair is growing in with a blunt-cut end.) So, do Moms now say, "Oh honey, etc. etc." about the Hoo-Ha wax? And does it come later than saying it about shaving legs? Or are all 12-year olds now saying, "Mom, I need to start shaving my legs and my Hoo-Ha and please, puh-lease buy me thong underwear and wonderbras!" Or maybe they're just doing it.

I won't - be doing it. Unless someone I really, really, REALLY like tells me straight out that my natural hair is truly offensive in some way.

Hell, let's be forthright here: the older you get, the more your hair follicles get minds of their own and migrate in directions you never dreamed of. Oh yeah, old women start getting hair on their chinny-chin-chins they have to deal with on a daily basis, we all know that; and I now have one or two errant follicles that have migrated to my right ear in an ugly way, but the secret no one talks about is that you also get - deep breath- hair on your ass! And how the hell am I supposed to shave THAT???