Road Trip!

Leaving tomorrow early on a 3 week road trip!! Just me and my dog, Bella. The impetus is my 50th high school reunion, but I'll be visiting other friends from the past up and down Northern California and spending some time just relaxing with the doggie in nice places.

Watch for additional posts as I "document" my adventures.

Road Trips for this Senior

I've been considering my desire to travel more, my financial resources, and my dog for awhile now, and started looking for small trailers (I drive a Subura Outback Sport) a month or so ago since I plan a trip to CA (from CO) in September. Then I quite suddenly decided to take a June trip to TX to visit relatives and relieve my cabin fever, and the search suddenly became a real one. I don't really need a trailer for this trip as it will only require 1 night in a motel each way and my family has room and loves to have guests, but there's this great flea market once-a-month in the Dallas area that I've been wanting to go to, and the dates all gelled for that. So I have the opportunity for a "shakedown cruise" over relatively flat ground before I pull a trailer over the Rockies, and if I find lots of wonderful things at Canton Trade Days, I can stow them in the trailer instead of having to UPS them home!!

Yesterday I went to look at a Teardrop "Little Guy" trailer which, from the photos, looked like it might be too "bare bones" for me, but although it doesn't have a "kitchen" in the rear hatch area as many do, I found that otherwise, it's in great shape, has an added-on storage locker attached to the tongue right in front of the trailer itself, and the price would allow me to add some amenities as desired. Additionally, it's plain white (except for a few remnants of "cow patch" decals the owner's daughter had applied all over it) so I can cover it with whatever decals, if any, I want. Unlike some teardrops, and much to my surprise from the photos, it has a screened door on each side so ventilation won't be a problem. I gave the owner a deposit on the spot, and will pick it up Saturday!

Since the hitch and wiring arrangement is going to cost me more than anticipated, I've decided that the only other thing I MUST do before the June trip is find either a new top vent cover or the complete assembly. I'll also figure out bedding (it comes with a really clean, good mattress) since we might try to sleep in it, and might then go a little further with gathering up cookstove, lantern, cooking and eating utensils, etc. so that I can see just how to store them.

Of course, I have to register and retitle it (and in CO the VIN has to be verified by State Patrol before going to the DMV) and it appears not to have a license plate at this point, so I'll be ferrying it around the area with a bill of sale and a pat response to any law enforcement personnel who might stop me: " I just bought it and can't get a license until Monday! Here's the bill of sale."

Additionally I need to figure out where to park it as my condo association has no areas in which I can do that. My mom (who is 96, by the way) has a garage I can use, but right now it's full of a bunch of stuff I need to sell, so I might have to rent storage space for a month until I can get it cleaned out. I might have to park it attached to my car on the street for a few days, so I'll be purchasing padlocks and such because it would otherwise be just too easy for someone to snatch...but I would make those purchases anyway since on any lengthy trips I'll be leaving it in a campground anyway.

In the meantime, I'm dreaming of my upcoming trips, and the wonderful places I can go and see and take my dog along without the worries of finding decent and affordable pet-friendly accomodations. While I prefer something else, there's always a KOA nearby!

I have a friend who likes to travel, and we've tried it out and we travel well together and will probably take some camping trips in CO this summer, but I've never been afraid of traveling alone anyway. I make every effort I can to be safe; I have a dog who'll protect me with her life and is good-size; and I seem to do a lot of soul-searching and healing when I'm driving. I also like the feeling that I'm self-sufficient and know what I'm doing out there on the road.

I'll soon be 68, but don't feel "old" except when my knees start to ache or I can't find my glasses or something. I know there are some older women (and men, I suppose) out there who would never think of doing such a thing alone, but when I was 30 and moved across the country all alone in a Pinto with a covered U-Haul in tow, my friends were wary. Again when I was 37 and decided to take a month-long roadtrip between California and Minnesota with my young kids, they were hesitant to enthuse. At 64 I picked up stakes and moved lock, stock and barrel to Oregon and then back to Colorado 18 months later and my friends were astounded. I feel competent, and I feel safe, and while I no longer like to sleep on the ground in a tent, I hope my "travels with Roxie" encourage some of you to try it yourselves.

Between the rack atop my car as well as the "trunk" room, and the entire interior of the Teardrop in which to store any treasures I find along the way, I think this is almost a perfect (no bathroom, no standing-up space in the trailer, and no indoor cooking facilities) set-up for me, and will encourage me to get out and go some places I've been wanting to go. I'd been thinking of looking for some sort of small motorhome, but the cost is beyond me, and with the price of gasoline...

I still have to name her...she's a "her" in spite of being labeled a "Little Guy" trailer...and decide on her motto. I like, and have used as tags in emails several possibilities: "Wherever you go there you are," "All who wander are not lost," and "A knowledge of the path cannot be substituted for putting one foot in front of the other" are among my faves. Final choices (and the decal letters to put them on the trailer) will come to me when they come to me, and I'm certain they'll be perfect when they do.

So, signing off for now - at least on this topic - but as I just bought myself a laptop computer, and the trailer has been wired for 110 inside, I can blog about my trips AS THINGS HAPPEN! Will keep my many readers posted with my adventures, my difficulties, and my solutions to any problems I encounter. Maybe I'll see you on the road!

Be prepared; be safe; have fun!!

Lordie,

I sure hope I don't outlive my ability to tweeze my face!

The Academy Awards from a former costumer's point of view

AND....the Oscar for most beautiful/elegant woman at the 83rd Academy Awards goes to Helen Mirren! She was stunningly dressed in dark silver grey, in a gown which complemented her in oh, so many, almost countless ways. She carried herself like a queen without the need for excessive glitter or more skin showing than is wise. Very much the Grande Dame of the evening. Bravo, Helen!!

Now, on to lesser beings. Nicole Kidman: what were you thinking when you chose to wear RED shoes with your beautiful white and silver dress? Even if you mislaid the shoes that were supposed to go with the dress, you MUST have had another choice that didn't look as if you'd worn your most comfortable high heels in the limo and forgot to change them!

Sandra Bullock: You were beautiful as was your dress. But who failed to tell you that an embossed croc leather handbag, though small, is NOT an evening bag.

Jennifer Hudson: Honey, I know you've lost a ton of weight, and everyone loves you, but all I could look at was your perky breasts sticking - nay, popping - out the front of your pretty red dress.

Oprah, I love you and I know about your weight struggles as well as your frequent messages to us about loving ourselves just the way we are, and finding better ways to be healthy first, and fit later, but whoever advised you on your dress did you a major disservice. It was NOT flattering, and I know you can be dressed flatteringly, no matter what you weigh at any given moment. It just was not. Neither was your hair.

Loved most of the dresses (and tuxedo) they dressed Anne Hathaway in, except for the odd blue one, which reminded me of the upholstery in low-riders all gussied up for Cinco de Mayo. I swear it was pleather.

I don't know the name of the woman receiving an Oscar, nor what she got it for, but she was wearing red, with cutouts at the shoulders...and the whole thing made her look like a linebacker. Sorry, she's a big woman and didn't seem to have a bad figure, but the dress made her look twice as big as she probably is.

Then there was the woman in black/ grey (or silver) stripes with a gap at the front of her dress she covered by clutching her Oscar in front of it while at the microphone . I swear that dress was meant to have the straps go straight up over the shoulders, and she chose to criss-cross them instead. NO ONE makes a dress with a poochy gap in the center on purpose. Or do they?

Melissa Leo may have dropped the "f-bomb" but her dress was absolutely gorgeous and she looked wonderful in it.

The little girl from "True Grit" was PERFECTLY dressed for her age and the occasion! Bravo to whoever dressed and coiffed her.

Annette, sweetheart, I think you're an amazing actress, and I WILL now go see "The Kids are All Right" but your dress...well, let's just say that while I didn't whistle in delight or gasp in horror, it just didn't do you justice.

As to hairdos, I have to say that most looked like they'd done it themselves... at the last minute.

But in one of the most amazing coups by a stylist or jeweler or whoever, someone convinced a majority of these movie stars that 1) all you need is earrings and maybe a matching ring; 2) large stones for said pieces are "in" and go with anything; and 3) THE JEWELRY NEED NOT MATCH ANYTHING ABOUT THE DRESS YOU'RE WEARING! It wasn't GHASTLY ghastly, if you know what I mean, but I'm astounded by the wool being pulled over so many eyes.

There were more outfits I either thought were beautiful and perfect for the wearer, as well as small and large mistakes, but it was the first time I watched the whole thing, and I don't have a copy of it to review for this review. One last comment for the ladies, however: no one will EVER top Halle Berry's stunning, almost-nude dress from several years ago. Don't even try.

As for the men, well, I know you want to put a personal twist on the "black tie" tuxedo ensemble, but you don't have to. ALL men look absolutely gorgeous in the real deal. Even with hair. Too many black shirts with a black traditional tie, or no tux at all for my (admittedly) personal taste for this venue, especially when you're a nominee.

As an aside, do you know the secret to looking svelte in these gowns? Not one, but TWO pair of Spanx, sewed to the bra.

I don't give a hurtling hoot about reality! I want what I want, and I'm going to be forever sad that I can't have it.

I want my children to live with or near me. I want my mother to live with me. I want us all together in a big ole house where everyone pitches in with the chores, and we hold hands at the dinner table, and Grampa says funny non-sequitors and the women sit around the kitchen table drinking tea and talking about whatever's on their minds! I want GRANDCHILDREN around my knees as I teach them how to make the best piecrust in the world or make them great, creative Halloween costumes. I want people in my house who squeal with delight at the "Santa footprints" they find on the floor between the chimbley and the tree on Christmas Day. I might even want real candles on the tree!! I want it ALL, even the negatives. And I don't have it.

Here I sit in my little (though colorful and comfortable) condo with my dog, trying to feel some Christmas Spirit (ah, speaking of Spirit, maybe some of THAT would help) when, honestly, this is the hardest time of the year for me. My older son appears to simply ignore any messages I send him...I realize he usually skiis at Christmas and that's fine, but would it KILL him to answer my invitation to at least get together so I can give him (and his wife) their gifts??? I accept that he doesn't feel and warm and fuzzy about me, and has an apparently fullfilling life on his own, but I gave him life and I love him, dammit, and I think he owes me the respect of returning a phone call or responding to an invitation/question! And there will be no grandchildren from that quarter, either.

The younger son is better, but is still a busy man. I appreciate the effort he goes to to make Christmas (and other times) special for me, but I'm not probably getting any grandchildren there, either. On the other hand, he got all excited about the Paella I'm making for Christmas Dinner, and decided it will need a Christmas tree on the top made of parsley. For him, I'm making doughnut upside-down cake for dessert. His presence does lift me up.

But, frankly, I could die here and the dog eat my body before anyone would notice or think to call and check on me. I'm SERIOUS! I talk on the phone, or by email or make comments on Facebook, but if I died, it would be WEEKS before any of them noticed I was maybe out of touch for some reason and checked on me. I guess I should take it as a compliment that they all think I'll live forever and am fully capable of taking care of myself in the meantime.

But damn, it feels lonely.

I should have had the 5 or 6 kids I always wanted. I should have had at least one daughter. I should now have more than my share of grandkids I could spoil and pamper and babysit. I should have 14 kids all tumble into my house any time of day and shout, "Grandma! What've we got to EAT?" Or, "Grandma! Let's fingerpaint on the kitchen table!" or better yet, "Grandma! Can we stay over?????"

But I'm not Ma Walton, and although for part of their youth my boys and I all slept in one bedroom and did the "Goodnight John-Boy" routine routinely, I guess my job now is to fill my life in other ways and with other people. Sure feels sad today, though.

With that, I think I'll make a cup of tea and turn on some music, and have a good cry before I wrap Christmas presents to put under my tree...

I'm so clever...if I could just remember!

So...I'm writing some clever thing to post in one sentence. I get it all written, then realize I could do better with the beginning of it. Deletion begins: backspace, backspace, etc. I've got the new start in my head and am all set to write, and then I find myself outside, determinedly heading for the fence at the side of the yard. I get there and discover that I was "writing" this whatever-it-was in Scrabble tiles atop the fence, and by the time I watch Roxie chase some animal in the bushes, discuss something with Kevin, and remember that the supply of tiles is back toward my house on a stump, I've completely lost the idea I had. Can't even tell what it was by reading the end of it, still posted in Scrabble tiles on the fence.

Or, I'm looking out my condo window as I often do, toward our entrance/parking lot, and I see in the dusk a white van or something leaving with what appears to be a too-long carpet roll in the back. It's hanging out and dragging on the ground, and because it's dragging, for some reason the driver has to swing the van around and I watch the rug swinging around behind him. All of a sudden pieces of the carpet begin to break off in large clumps...WTF? I look more closely and see that what I thought was carpet is actually a horse, and it is taking the most massive dump in our entryway that I've ever seen. And it doesn't stop. These are pieces of horse poop the size of unsplit logs! On our property! I dash out, and see that the driver has stopped, gotten out, and is approaching our side yard, which is pretty unkempt, with waist-high weeds and many trees, etc. (The horse is still wildly pulling, trying to free itself of the rope with which it's tied to the truck, and pooping.) I approach the man, who is young, shirtless, long-haired and with a beat up straw cowboy hat on. I say, "What's your name? He gives it to me (Troy Peterson) and, that name sounding familiar, ask if he knows TCF (my ex). He says no, at which point I ask if he's planning to pick up all the horseshit in my driveway, and he says no, and starts to approach me (there's a fence in between us). Suddenly he is an older man, dressed in a nice, coordinating outfit of brown slacks, brown shirt, and a tasteful sweater of brown and green argyle over the shirt. He says, "You have missed one important part here. If I were (someone, some candidate in the last local election) and had told you my name, you would have responded in kind." I say, "I'm sorry, I'm old...I'm 84, and my name is Linda. Just wondering if you're planning to pick up all that massive horse poop in my driveway." He smiles a smarmy smile and says, "That's something, isn't it? No."

Then I woke up, feeling once again as if I were swimming upward in molasses.

I "write" a lot while I'm sleeping, and solve puzzles, meet people I've never met and have time for relationships of one sort or another, along with other odd encounters. I actually once dreamed I'd gone to a play and was stunned by the costumes. Went backstage to congratulate the costume designer, then woke up still in awe of that designer and those costumes. It took 10 minutes before I realized that it was a dream, thus the gorgeous and clever costume design was, in fact, MINE!

The problem is that I usually can't remember all my cleverness, not to mention the brilliant writing, once I surface.

Thanks, Effexor, for another entertaining nap. And (here's the tie-in, lame though it is: Thanks, "Old Age" for the need for naps.) Besides, I had to post this somewhere, and it's WAY too long and strange for Facebook. And I'd embarrass my children, other family members, and my friends.

My regrets...

It seems I haven't been very inspired by or interested in the vagaries of growing older since my gentleman friend rather unceremoniously announced he'd cheated on me and I told him to take a hike. I think I've been feeling old, and it isn't funny.

But I do have one Big Query: when did all the women in the country start waxing or shaving their Hoo-Ha's, and is it now considered de rigeur? I mean, I knew about bikini waxes, and heard vaguely about Brazilian waxes, but it never occured to me that the latter was anything more than an extreme bikini wax, and didn't know (I still don't, obviously) that it seems to be something that's now expected.

Could that be the reason my gentleman friend cheated on me with his ex-lady friend? He did mention once that she did that, and maybe I didn't get the hint.

On the other hand, would I have done this even for HIM????? Honestly, I don't think so. Not at my age. (With some perspective I can now state that he wasn't actually all that good/worth it anyway.) For one thing, I can't even prop my leg up on the shower wall to shave it anymore. I have to sit down...and how would that work when I'm trying to shave my Hoo-Ha? Which I'm sitting on!

I can't imagine a more difficult daily personal task . Sure, add THAT to all the other things I do in the morning not to look like an old lady... And once you did it, you'd have to continue, or there'd be an itch for weeks!!

Besides which, isn't that hair there for a reason?

I remember when it was pointed out to me at school in the 7th grade that I was the only one of the girls not yet shaving my legs, and I went home and told my Mom that I wanted to shave my legs. She said, "Oh honey, once you start doing that you have to do it all the time....and the hair grows back in thicker and coarser!" (The latter I later found out is not true...it just seems that way because the hair is growing in with a blunt-cut end.) So, do Moms now say, "Oh honey, etc. etc." about the Hoo-Ha wax? And does it come later than saying it about shaving legs? Or are all 12-year olds now saying, "Mom, I need to start shaving my legs and my Hoo-Ha and please, puh-lease buy me thong underwear and wonderbras!" Or maybe they're just doing it.

I won't - be doing it. Unless someone I really, really, REALLY like tells me straight out that my natural hair is truly offensive in some way.

Hell, let's be forthright here: the older you get, the more your hair follicles get minds of their own and migrate in directions you never dreamed of. Oh yeah, old women start getting hair on their chinny-chin-chins they have to deal with on a daily basis, we all know that; and I now have one or two errant follicles that have migrated to my right ear in an ugly way, but the secret no one talks about is that you also get - deep breath- hair on your ass! And how the hell am I supposed to shave THAT???